"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
