you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize