I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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