seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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