and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
