i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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