Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
