just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and you said cock pushups were impossible
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
