happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
