Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
