so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
