Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
