I want to have your abortion
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
