I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize