Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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