ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
