Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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