i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
