Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
