Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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