i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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