I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize