You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
