id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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