when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My friends, they love my intelligence
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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