I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
