You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
