I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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