I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize