for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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