Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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