i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize