Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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