I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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