Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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