i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
