no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
