Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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