Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
