I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
