I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
