just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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