Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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