I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
