How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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