About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
