Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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