so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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