She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the day after is always just damage control
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
