Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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