dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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