Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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