but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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