so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
