last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
