You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
two words...techno handjob
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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