I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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