Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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