wat bout pragnant strippers??
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I've blown a few things in my day
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
