didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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