well I can't set my house on fire every night
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
