I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize