I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
