I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
