i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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