.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
