Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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