I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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