is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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