did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize