Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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