Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
