call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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