This is not my ceiling
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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