your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
