I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize