I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
