well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
