Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just found puke in my bra..
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
