I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
